Submission
Submission is the dirty side of BDSM where somebody gets turned on by giving up control, obeying orders, getting restrained, used, teased, punished, humiliated or mentally broken down by a dominant partner.
For many submissive people, the biggest turn-on is not even the sex itself. It is the feeling of surrender, helplessness, obedience, fear, worship, degradation, pain or knowing somebody else completely controls the situation for a while.
Submission is heavily connected with Domination, Dominatrix culture, Fetish nightlife, Bondage, Spanking, Dark rooms, sex-positive clubs, BDSM dungeons and underground techno scenes.
Some submissives want soft teasing and dirty talk. Others want collars, chains, spanking, humiliation, leash walking, roleplay, orgasm control or being treated like property inside the fantasy. Most people try these things always first time with an escort since they are shy to be open about it.
A submissive person may be called a sub, bottom, slave, pet or many other role names depending on the dynamic.
The funny thing is that outsiders often think submission means weakness, but experienced BDSM people usually know the submissive often controls the real limits behind the entire scene. Without trust and consent, the whole thing falls apart fast.
Submission nightlife
Fetish nightlife is always steeped in submission culture. Leather clubs , BDSM parties, Swingers clubs, fetish dungeons, kinky afterparties and electronic music clubs often have bondage rooms, cages, spanking benches, crosses, chains or open play spaces.
People can freely indulge their kinky fantasies without the need to act normal for one night, and places like Berlin, Amsterdam, Tokyo and KitKatClub are famous for it.
Many submissives also enjoy the ritual aspect of BDSM: collars, commands, rules, punishments, rewards, kneeling, begging, service or psychological ownership games .
Some scenes get rough and sexual and some are almost all mental. After a heavy BDSM session, a submissive might find themselves shaking, crying, laughing, horny or emotionally wrecked because the adrenaline and psychological pressure get intense.
Common submission fantasies
Common fantasies include bondage, choking, spanking, edging, orgasm denial, praise, degradation, pet play, slave training, authority role play, public control, verbal humiliation and being tied up as somebody else takes over completely.
Submission culture is full of different fantasies of teacher/student, owner/pet, boss/employee, doctor/patient, and stranger-control.
Post-care
Aftercare is a big part of the submission culture. Many submissives are emotionally fragile, needy, shaky or mentally vulnerable once the adrenaline crash hits them.
Aftercare in BDSM relationships takes many forms such as hugs, reassurance, bringing water, blankets, cleaning up together or just lying quietly after the scene and cuddling
See Also
- BDSM | Domination | Dominatrix | Fetish
- KitKatClub | Berlin | Amsterdam | Tokyo
