Sin Sod
Sin Sod, sometimes written as Sin Sot is What You Should Pay to Marry Your Thai Girlfriend. Every man marrying a Thai girl is expected to pay Sin Sod. The price is usually agreed between the both families, yet where a "falang" is concerned and his parents are not present, the duty falls on him to ask the family how much they expect.
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What is Sin Sod
You will find a lot of misleading information online regarding Sin Sod, and conflicting experiences can be found plastered all over forums and online blogs. So, when a foreigner wants to marry his Thai girlfriend and the inevitable subject of Sin Sod will arise, it is no surprise that the Farang becomes confused over what he should be paying and why he is expected to pay it.
The big problem is that Thai girls often do not explain the concept of Sin Sod very well, which is not at all surprising, considering that for them it is a standard tradition and an age-old part of Thai culture. And like traditions the world over, many people simply participate and follow along without ever understanding the history behind it.
The best people to ask about the Sin Sod are Thai people themselves. Yet like many Thai traditions, some foreigners have a gross misconception of what Sin Sod is all about, inherited largely from other misinformed foreigners.
Misunderstandings of Sin Sod
Sin Sod is not a dowry. You are not buying a girl or approaching her family to buy her. The Western-centric viewpoint that Sin Sod equates to the purchasing of a Thai bride is totally incorrect.
To fully understand the tradition, you need to forget the word “dowry”, not least because any suggestion to your future in-laws of purchasing their daughter will be very offensive.
What Sin Sod is in reality?
There are generally 3 reasons for the payment of Sin Sod; they are as follows:
- Traditionally, the eldest unmarried daughter takes care of her parents until she will get married, and therefore the Sin Sod in some respects replaces that income for her mom and dad. As you might know, it is common for the average Thai girl to send a portion of her salary to her parents each month. After marriage this usually stops, so as you can imagine, for parents with no pension plan and little savings, the Sin Sod is a much needed income. Now you can see why richer people do not usually accept this payment or expect it, quite simply because they do not need it.
- Once a woman has been married, and/or has kids, the structure of Thai society makes it very hard for her to find a man of decent stature. Therefore, the Sin Sod acts as a sort of insurance in the event that the husband leaves her and does not offer post separation financial support. The bottom line is, girls do not walk away with half of everything like they do in some Western countries. If a girl finds herself back living with her parents as a single mom, the Sin Sod insures that there will be some money/land in the family to support the family. Thai society also dictates that the older a Thai girl gets the harder it becomes for her to find a job, let alone a well-paid one. So again, should she find herself alone in the future, at least the family will have some money put by for some inevitably rainy years ahead.
- Where poorer families are concerned, Sin Sod is a repayment for the money invested in their daughter. Many families sell land, borrow money and generally go without to put their kids through school, or in some cases to simply put food on the table. The Sin Sod is essentially a repayment for that investment. The amount paid for Sin Sod could be considered relative to the sacrificial cost of bringing up the child – thus the reason it is often referred to as payment for the “mother’s milk”.
- Age is a contentious and quite horrible issue when it comes to Sin Sod. For a 40-year-old woman from a poor, rural family and a few kids in tow, it’s unlikely that more than 200,000 Baht would be on offer. But for a younger girl it can sometimes be millions of Bahts. That said, the type of guys such a girl would have access to wouldn’t be able to afford more than that anyway. But who knows, occasionally a rich man does fall for a poorer woman in good old classist Thailand, and to show his wealth he would no doubt slap down a hefty sin sod. And so age comes fairly low down on the list. Sin Sod is generally decided by status, family wealth, family name and accomplishment/education of the female in question.
Who Can Avoid Paying Sin Sod?
In the modern day many families do not expect Sin Sod, and many will tell the men that they don’t want any money. However, it is very rare that money isn’t shown at the wedding, albeit that it is returned in full afterwards. It should be noted that to expect the money back or to ask for it back is not acceptable. One will be offered it back if that is to be the case. Also note that you may not be required to pay Sin Sod if the lady you are marrying has been married before.
See Also
- North America | South America | Europe | Africa | Asia | Oceania
