How To Tell If Someone Is Gay
How to tell if someone is gay is something many people wonder about when they suspect that a friend, guy they know, date or boyfriend might be gay. You cannot know for sure that a guy is gay just by looking at him, and plenty of the classic "signs he's gay" are stereotypes.
Who he checks out, who he dates, whether he uses gay dating apps and whether he is sexually attracted to other men can tell you a lot more than his clothes, grooming habits or favorite TV shows.
Have you ever wondered if someone you know is gay? Before you ask him, check him against these signs he’s gay, and see how he scores.
Contents
How to Tell if a Guy Is Gay
There is no physical test that tells you whether a guy is gay. Looking masculine, feminine, muscular, fashionable or camp doesn't prove anything.
The biggest thing to watch is who he is actually interested in. If a guy checks out men, talks about wanting sex with guys, dates men or uses gay dating and hookup apps such as Grindr, that tells you much more than whether he likes Eurovision or spends an hour in the bathroom.
A closeted guy can obviously try to hide it. A guy who has not come out may act differently around different people or keep his dating and sex life secret.
Signs He Might Be Gay
- He´s Views
- Most straight guys cannot understand gays. While this does not mean they are homophobic, they just cannot understand why a man would choose other men over girls. If he regularly talks about how gay men had a hard fight and should be accepted, or quotes gay guys or Oprah, he might be trying to justify his sexuality.
- He´s Gaming
- Gay men will often pick a female character in a game, or choose a very hunky dude. The reason for this is unknown, but it is psychologically proven to be true. A study shows that gay´s almost always chose to play as Storm, while straight dudes chose from a range of men. So watch his gaming habits and see what character he picks as his avatar.
- Bathroom Rituals
- This is often true! Watch how meticulous he is with his grooming, and see what items he owns. While it’s good that he makes an effort, if he takes long time to get ready he’s taken it a bit far! If he’s got more products than most girls and a huge shoe collection, that’s a big hint.
- He´s Idols
- Gay guys often idolize people who have elaborate, over the top lifestyles. It is very hard to find a gay guy who does not like Cher, Whitney Houston and Paul O’Grady! If he loves divas, or watching famous “out” men such as Graham Norton, he could be gay.
- He´s Favorite TV shows
- This is a stereotype that´s always proven true. Gay´s often love watching stereotypical “female” programmes, such as beauty pageants, that reinforce the importance of beauty and glamour. Gay´s also love over the top makeover shows, and big award shows such as the Grammys or Eurovision.
- He´s Eyes
- Who does he look at when he´s at the club or gym? Do his eyes jump from man to man, does he focus on sexy men or does he not look at anyone at all? Like it or not, men have wandering eyes but a straight dude will look at sexy girls, even subconsciously. If he makes more eye contact with men, he is probably more interested in them.
- He´s Washroom Habits
- Gay´s who haven’t yet “come out” often feel uncomfortable in public bathrooms, and either do not go or use the toilet rather than the urinals. If he refuses to go to the toilet in public and instead wants to go hom, it might hint to him not being comfortable in his sexual identity. Remember this is not always true, because some people are really only comfortable using their own toilet.
- Compliments
- Listen for the way he compliments girls. Does he tell them they look beautiful, or tell them their jacket goes great with those skinny jeans and they should finish the look with diamond boots and pink nail varnish? Gay guys are often very fashionable, so see how clued up he is.
- He´s Profile
- Is his Facebook full of men he does not know? Does he have a secret Facebook or Instagram profile? Social networking sites are often the place men “still in the closet” let themselves go a little, and be themselves. So they can offer big hints as to what he is really like! It is an even bigger hint if his new friends have particularly revealing or sexy pictures.
- He Hates Gay´s
- He might display an over the top rage at gay men. This is a classic reaction to prevent people from guessing he likes men. As the homage goes, the greatest homophobe is the gay! It is worth bearing in mind that some men actually cannot stand gays, however, and it is not always a sign of trouble.
Gay Stereotypes vs Real Signs
A lot of the old signs people associate with gay guys are stereotypes. A straight guy can love fashion, Cher, Eurovision and beauty products, while a gay guy can hate all of them.
What matters much more is whether the guy is actually sexually or romantically interested in men.
If he's constantly checking out sexy guys, flirting with men, dating guys or has a profile on Grindr or another gay dating app, that's a much bigger hint. He could still be bisexual, curious or hiding what he's really into.
The only guy who knows for sure is him.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can you tell if a man is gay?
You can't reliably tell from his clothes, voice, haircut or hobbies. Who he actually wants to date or fuck tells you a lot more.
What are the biggest signs a guy is gay?
The most obvious signs are that he says he likes men, dates men, has sex with men or says he's gay. Flirting with guys, checking out men and using gay hookup apps can also be pretty big hints.
How can you tell if a guy is secretly gay?
A closeted guy might go out of his way to hide it. Secret gay dating profiles, hookups with men or privately admitting that he finds men sexually attractive are much bigger clues than the way he dresses or talks.
Can you tell if someone is gay by looking at them?
No. A guy can look camp as hell and be straight, or look like the straightest dude in the bar and be gay.
Does using Grindr mean a guy is gay?
Grindr is mainly used by gay, bisexual and other guys looking for men. An active Grindr profile is therefore a pretty obvious sign that he may be interested in guys, but it doesn't necessarily mean he calls himself gay.
Can a feminine guy be straight?
Of course. Feminine straight guys exist and so do very masculine gay guys.
How do I ask a guy if he is gay?
If you really need to know, asking him is more reliable than trying to work it out from his shoes, TV shows or bathroom habits. A guy who is still in the closet might not tell you anyway.
See Also
- Gay | Closeted | Coming out | Bisexuality | Sexual orientation | Grindr | Dating Apps | Gay and lesbian travel
- North America | South America | Europe | Africa | Asia | Oceania
